Q: My eldest son has become rebellious to just about every rule in our home. This has been going on for months now, and it's getting harder and harder to communicate with him or to get to the bottom of his bad behavior. I'm exasperated! What can I do to straighten out my son?

When children seriously misbehave, there is usually an underlying cause. Maybe they feel insecure, so they act up to get more of your time and attention, reassurance, and love. Maybe they're upset about something that happened at school. Maybe they're testing the boundaries you've set, to see if you mean what you said. Maybe they think they're old enough to make their own decisions and don't understand the reason behind some of your rules. Maybe it's time to change some rules in order to give them more room to grow.

Whatever the case, it's important to find out why they're misbehaving, and how you can help them get back on track. Most problems don't just go away by themselves, nor are children usually equipped to handle them on their own. Many times the children themselves don't even know what is wrong. They need a parent's love and guidance.

The best way to know what your children need and how to help them--the only way, really--is to ask the Lord to show you. Next to having the Lord's love, the most important key to successful parenting is learning to ask the Lord for the answers. Jesus always has just the answer you need. Having Him as a parenting partner lifts a great deal of the load off of you. You know you can always go to Him in prayer, and He will speak to your heart and mind with the guidance and solutions you need.

If your child has been going through a difficult phase that is trying your patience, ask Jesus for help. Share your burden with Him; He has lots of patience. He has had a great deal of patience with your faults and failings, so you can be sure that He will help you be patient with your children's. When you feel at the end of your rope, ask Him for His love and patience. His Spirit will calm your own spirit, bring solutions to your mind, help you to ride out the storm of difficulties that may arise, and help you be the kind of love and support to your children that He is to you.

(This month's answer was provided by Derek and Michelle Brooks, from their book Keys to Kids, available at our online store.)