Q: How can I get over my problem with shyness?

Many of us suffer from shyness, and it can be very difficult to overcome. In most cases, shyness is a combination of fear and self-consciousness. We're shy because we're worried about what others might think or say about us. So how can we overcome shyness and timidity?

Self-help books on the subject abound, and most of them offer advice that is basically sound:

-- Just be yourself. Quit trying so hard to impress people or be something you're not.

-- Know what you stand for. If you're behaving and speaking rightly and lovingly, then you have nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of.

-- Initiate contact and conversations with others, even at the risk of rejection. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

-- Practice makes perfect. Instead of clamming up or running from the next potentially embarrassing situation, see it as a chance to grow in social skills.

-- Get so concerned about helping others and making them happy that you forget about yourself.

These solutions are simple, yes, but often easier said than done!-Especially since most books stop there. The poor reader is expected to muster up the courage and determination and everything else it will take from within. But here's a classic situation where the Christian is at a distinct advantage, because instead of self-help, we can get His help. Instead of having to work it up ourselves, we can ask God to work in us and bring about the desired change-and He will! How? Through the Holy Spirit and the reading of God's Word.

If shyness is a combination of fear and self-consciousness (which stems from pride), then faith and humility are the antidote. The Holy Spirit gives us boldness and helps us overcome our sensitivity and self-consciousness, and God's Word gives us faith that displaces our fear. The Bible tells us that faith comes by hearing the Word of God (see Romans 10:17), so the more Word we take in, the more faith in God we will have, the more love of God we will have and the more love we will have for others. We then become more concerned about other people and their needs, and less conscious about ourselves and what others think of us. And of course when we show a sincere interest in them, most people will think the world of us.

The cure for shyness is only a prayer away. With God's help, encounters that we used to dread become steppingstones to new friendships, happiness, and success!

* * *

Once upon a time there was a little girl who spent her days sitting beside a pond watching a frog on a lily pad. Now the little girl knew that the frog was probably a prince. And the frog, who was indeed a prince, knew that the little girl could kiss his nose and break the magic spell that had been cast upon him by a wicked witch. But the little girl on the bank of the pond was too shy to begin a conversation with a frog, and the frog could simply not bring himself to tell her how badly he wanted her to kiss his nose. So the little girl went on sitting there watching the frog, and that is the end of the story.