Q: Life sometimes seems too hard, and sometimes it seems downright unfair. I can’t help but wonder if God really loves me. If He does, why does He make life so much harder for me than He does for some others?

A: God loves each and every one of us, including you, and He wants nothing more than for us to love Him back and live close to Him. He also has a loving plan for each of us that He knows will bring out the best in us and be best for us in the long run.

Unfortunately, the biggest obstacle He faces in carrying out that plan is our trying so hard to follow our own plans instead. We try to make something of ourselves—usually a very distant second best to what He wants to make of us—so He has to keep breaking and trying to remake us. He does this by allowing “bad” things in our lives to get us to the point where we recognize how much we need Him and are willing to turn things over to Him.

He works differently in each of our hearts and lives because we’re all different and He knows what will best accomplish His purpose in each life. It’s all to the same end, though: that we might learn beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are hopelessly insufficient in ourselves. Once we know this, then He has a chance to step in and give us the help that He’s been trying to give all along.

He allows some people to have physical problems, hoping that they’ll see that they can’t heal themselves and turn to Him. He gives others good health but lets them suffer some other loss, hoping that they’ll turn to Him to fill that void. He gives some people prosperity, power, or recognition, but these often carry heavy burdens of responsibility that others may not see—burdens that are intended to cause the bearers to turn to God for help.

He has many ways of working in our lives, and things don’t always seem fair or equal. But whatever He allows to happen to you, it’s because He loves you. If God goes to the trouble of numbering the hairs of your head, as Jesus said He does (Matthew 10:30), He’s clearly concerned about you. And if He’s that concerned, surely He wants to make your every experience a step forward.