Q: I have a terrible temper. What can I do to change?

Realizing that you have a problem with anger is the first step to overcoming it, and being able to admit that to others is the second. You're well on your way already!

The all-important third step is to ask the Lord to help you change. Without Him, you can do nothing good, but with His help you can do anything! (See John 15:5 and Philippians 4:13.)

Understanding anger is also important. Pent-up anger is like a time bomb. Learn how it works and you can deactivate it before it goes off. Here are a few pointers:

- Let's face it--anger is often the result of selfish concerns. We don't get our own way, our pride is wounded, or we somehow feel slighted or mistreated by others, so we become frustrated, upset, and angry.

- The ability to control your anger is a sign of maturity and an admirable quality. "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city" (Proverbs 16:32).

- Think before you speak. If you can hold back long enough to think through what you're about to say, you can usually express your feelings in a healthy way. "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back [until afterwards]" (Proverbs 29:11).

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.

- Consider the consequences. Letting your bad feelings spill out in uncontrolled actions or words can only cause mistakes, hurt those you love, and destroy friendships. "An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression. A man of great wrath will suffer punishment" (Proverbs 29:22; 19:19).

- Learn to recognize the danger signals. Whoever said that "anger is one letter short of danger" was probably speaking from experience--and they were quite right! Early warning signals vary from person to person, but you know how you feel when you begin to get angry. Stop it there. "He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly" (Proverbs 14:29).

- Ask for help. Confess to those you're getting angry with (or in front of) that your feelings are getting out of control. That's humbling, but not as humbling as having to apologize after an ugly fit of anger.

- Pray and ask Jesus to help you. You can excuse yourself and pray privately elsewhere, if you must, but praying with others brings optimum results. Jesus promised, "Ask what you will, and it will be done unto you" (John 15:7).

- Redirect your anger. Channeling that pent-up energy to some constructive activity helps you get your mind off of what made you angry in the first place. Cut the grass. Mop the kitchen floor. Get your daily exercise. Or better yet, do some loving thing for whoever you were angry with.

- Go to the Word. "How can a young man [or any of us] cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word" (Psalm 119:9).

(For more from the Bible on the subject of anger, refer to Keys to Happier Living--a collection of Bible verses on a variety of topics relating to everyday life.)