My humble healing

By Julia Kelly

I can’t remember a time in my childhood when I wasn’t stuttering. One of my earliest memories is of my mom telling me, “Slow down. Talk slowly.” Every sentence was difficult. Sometimes it took me ten minutes to gather my courage to ask someone what time it was. I dreaded the thought of having to speak to strangers. It was hard enough for me to talk to my family and friends. People told me that they didn’t notice it much, but that was because I avoided talking. When I couldn’t get around it, I chose my words carefully, saying as little as possible and getting it over with as quickly as possible to avoid the embarrassment, the frustration, the sympathetic looks.

By the time I was 16, I had asked Jesus to heal me of my stutter so many times that I was nearly convinced that it wasn’t His will for me to be healed. I determined to find ways to work around this problem that wasn’t going to go away, but still I wondered sometimes where all those prayers went. I was about to find out.

One day while spending some quiet time with Jesus, I heard His voice in my heart clearly say, Instead of praying for Me to heal you, pray for this affliction to humble you.

Humble me? Wasn’t I humbled enough every time that I tried to speak?

His voice came again. Allow Me to work in your life the way I know is best. Once you have learned the lessons I have for you, then I will heal you.

I knew then that I had to stop pushing my plan on God and yield to His.

So instead of praying for healing as usual, I prayed that I would be humbled through my stuttering. I also began to do something that I had always done everything I could to avoid—read in public. I began to read out loud at the daily devotional group I attend. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for the others when I took a long time to get through a single paragraph. Each time it was my turn to read, I broke into a cold sweat, but I kept going. If I kept stretching past my comfort level, I figured, something would have to give—and eventually something did!

Within a week of my prayer for humility, my stuttering was completely gone! That was three years ago, and I haven’t had a trace since. I had spent all those years praying for healing, when what I really needed to do was pray for God’s will and do what He told me to do! 

Julia Kelly is a member of the Family International in the U.S.