When I was a teenager, I thought I knew it all. I was full of insecurities, but I was also full of opinions—strong ones! Looking back, I feel sorry for my parents. I’m sure I wasn’t an easy child to raise, especially as a teen. I didn’t like the fact that I had stricter parents than some of my friends did, and I pulled away from my parents, as many teens do. I was sure they didn’t understand me, and I was right—they didn’t! None of my older siblings were anything like me. I questioned everything and had trouble keeping the rules. I have to admit, I wasn’t very deep. My main goal in life was to have fun. My mom and dad were loving parents, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to follow in their footsteps as a full-time Christian volunteer. I was tough on the outside, but on the inside all I ever wanted was to find someone who truly understood me.

One day I found myself at a gathering where I was the only teenager. While the adults talked in small groups, I sat off in a corner by myself, watching, until a woman named Joy came over and struck up a conversation. Eventually I opened up and told her about all my troubles. I half expected her to lecture me, but instead she just listened. She cared about me, and I could feel that. Never once did she put me in my place or try to change my opinion; she simply tried to understand me.

That conversation was the beginning of a friendship that continued for seven years, until Joy passed away. She stuck by me through thick and thin. We took long walks together and would sometimes write notes to each other about things that were harder to say in person. Even after she moved to a distant city, we kept in touch by phone and mail. For much of those seven years, Joy was so sick that she could have died at any time, but I never heard her complain. She was always bubbly and had a passion for people.

Joy taught me something important—that it was okay to be myself. And in the process, she also taught me to try to understand people in a deep way, to look beyond appearances and sometimes even beyond what they say, to accept them for who they are, and to show them unconditional love. Though we all seem so different, we’re all made from the same stuff, and we all need love, understanding, and acceptance. When someone sees our need and fills it, we blossom.

Theresa Leclerc is a member of the Family International in South Africa.