I haven’t always been the easiest person to work with. In fact, in the past some people have wanted to work with me about as much as they wanted a pet porcupine.

Part of the problem was my overly competitive nature, and I’ll give you an example of how that undermined my working relations with others. I was sharing executive responsibilities with a high-powered co-worker. Paul was a quick thinker, moved fast, was very organized, and could get a lot done in a day, whereas I naturally move slower and am cautious and analytical. I used to say, “I only have two gears—low and reverse.” Working with Paul, I felt like I was always a step behind, and that brought out the competitive spirit in me. I soon determined that I would outdo Paul in every area. If he was going to get to work a half hour early to get a jump on the day, I would get there an hour early to get a jump on him. If he was going to focus on a certain problem, I would have already studied the problem from every conceivable angle. Well, that just about ruined our effectiveness together.

I prayed about that, and Jesus gave me a little analogy. He told me that we were like a car, and reminded me that a car needs both a gas pedal and a brake pedal. If it only had a gas pedal, it would crash the first time it came to a curve and was going the slightest bit too fast. And if it only had a brake pedal, it would never get anywhere. To make forward progress and stay on the road, it needs both a gas pedal and a brake working together in proper balance.

What that meant for me was clear: First of all, I needed to realize that what I considered personal weaknesses were actually strengths. The fact that I move slower, for example, helped our executive team to be more thorough and to think and pray things through before we acted. Second, instead of viewing others’ strengths as a threat and getting competitive about it, I needed to learn to let others I work with excel at the things they were good at and to look for ways to use my own strengths to complement theirs.

The happy ending is that I adjusted my thinking, and Paul and I went on to work quite well together. I’m now a few more years down the road, and the “don’t compete, complement” principle has proven to be effective in all sorts of relationships.